Kotodama

Crisis Averted!

2009-06-02T18:13:57Z

I got a job!!!

What is this journal you speak of...?

2009-06-02T01:46:55Z

Err...I haven't been here in a while, have I.

Some things happened, I suppose. Discovered full time job+full time school=*death*
Discovered getting laid off (yay I'm a statistic OTL) made me realize I don't know what to do with myself if I'm not doing too much.

Been dreadfully antisocial, even with the magical free time. Have also been dreadfully uninspired. These things are probably related. I think I need to go back to the city for a while and make myself interested in the universe again. And I would go if that, you know, didn't cost money.

What does one do to gain inspiration anyway?

</lame>

Album Translation: mucc - Kuchiki no Tou

2009-01-12T01:00:23Z

Organized into one post for covenience

mucc - Kuchiki no Tou

1) Kuchiki no Tou (instrumental)
2) Daremo Inai Ie
3) Isho
4) Mikan no Kaiga
5) Dakkuu
6) Gentou Sanka
7) Akatsuki Yami
8) 2.07 (instrumental)
9) Garo
10) Kanashimi no Hate
11) Rojiura Boku to Kimi e
12) Oboreru Sakana
13) Namonaki Yume
14) Monokuro no Keshiki
15) Kuchiki no Tou

I lost to a box

2009-01-03T03:22:37Z

I could make an entry about the usual "Reflection on the Past Year and Plans for the New One." But I'm not going to. Instead I will share a tale of woe and defeat. This is also known as why I'm friggin' lame and how it's quite possibly genetic.

So I received a package today. That was left in front of my garage door in the snow rather than on the front step (and I almost ran over since it was dark out when I got home) But that's ok. I can live with soggy cardboard. So now I take it inside and am ready to open it. But it's sealed shut with Packing Tape From Hell. But luckily I have brand new sharp scissors to assist in my task. I cut the tape just fine but the box. Will. Not. Open.

Hmm. It appears the flaps are also GLUED SHUT.

So I attempt to peel back a corner of the flap and slide the scissor edge under to pry it open. Except the blade gets jammed (read:deflected away) and I ended up STABBING MYSELF IN THE FINGER!!!

So I cuss at the box with great gusto while my mom calls me retarded and takes the scissors from me. I stand there feeling stupid while she starts working on the box when it occurs to me I'm bleeding all over the floor 0_0 Mom rolls her eyes at me and points me towards the paper towels. We comment that fingers bleed a lot since they're, ya know, vascular and all. I no sooner turn around to get said towel when my mom yelps.

"Damn, I cut myself! Why are these scissors so sharp?!"

I spin around and her thumb is profusely bleeding everywhere!

I race to get her a paper towel and realize I've already soaked through mine.

So after Mama got taken care of, I seek out my dad.

* * *
"Do we have band-aids?"

"Why?" he gives me a dubious look.

*holds up hand wrapped in blood-drenched towel*

"...Sharp scissors are sharp."

-_- "Are you a moron?"

"Hey! Mom did the same thing 30 seconds later!"

"Then you're both dumb!"
* * *

This happened a few hours ago and I've just bled through my second band-aid. Am starting to wonder if mayhaps I need stitches? Though I don't think I could stand having to explain this story to a doctor. It's too full of dumb.

Moral of the story: Never get comfortable enough with yourself to think you'll ever be all that smooth in life. A lesson that the universe keeps trying to beat into my head. As if breaking my own face tripping over my own feet or breaking a bone in my foot walking weren't enough to point out how un-cool I am OTL

Evolving I Am?

2008-11-09T02:56:13Z

I'd almost sat down and typed a rather long winded rant about people and my dealings with them. I would have been rather general but there were specific ones in mind. But then, of course, reality set in and I realized what an immature douchebag that would make me. Maybe the fact that I'm mentioning any of this at all means I've still got miles to go, and maybe something as pointless as this doesn't mean anything to anyone. But somehow I feel like I've grown as a person somewhat. However small a step forward that might be.

I can only control myself and my own actions. Even when I have my moments of feeling like I should be able to hold people accountable for their actions, other people are always going to do what they want. There's nothing to be gained by trying to think or wish otherwise. I feel like I should tell myself to just accept things as they are, but I feel like i've already made it there. I just have this...great sense of quiet resignation. That ultimately, there is absolutely no value in relying on other people for anything.

This is not an angry statement. Or bitter. It probably doesn't carry well just in written words, but I feel rather peaceful in simply understanding this. Knowing myself, how I interact with others, and how they interact with me.

The people that matter will make the effort. The ones that don't will eventually fade away. At least I can be frank with myself and know that given my brutally stubborn nature, that I've never been the one to quit.

Maybe anyone stumbling across this won't really understand any of this. But I didn't write this for you to understand. I'm just decluttering my brain a bit. And to be honest, I'm feeling extrodinarily good about myself : )

Song Translation: mucc - "Kuchiki no Tou"

2008-11-04T04:54:31Z

...Migraine... T_T

But--But I finally finished translating the entire album of Kuchiki no Tou! I'll tidy things up with links to all the songs in once post...tomorrow. For now **dies**

"Tower of the Decaying Trees"

The bricks of the tower piled high
Butchered by my own hand
Temperatures drop across the seven seas
Indeed I am the one amongst the scattered trees of decay

“I’ll crush my heart”

A sense of reason was my flaw
It seems fever-twisted morals are the reason
I sing for atonement
I shall make amends with the trees of decay

“Erase my unfading regrets, clinging to the palm of my hand”

Ah, the unending past drags on
I walk towards the face of evil above the decaying trees
If there’s nothing left to protect me
Leave me facing north until the crows come

Until I’ve exorcized myself completely
The darkness is necessary
It’s foolish to even wish for the light
Basking in empty sunlight
Ah, add another notch to my failures

“Am I even alive? Even though I don’t feel that way”

Since that day

Ah, the unending past drags on
I lift my hand dyed with agony
I should discard all this suffering
I shall face north, and cease to be a person

To live by these hands atonement is…penance is…

Translator Notes: Oh god, this song embodies my love/hate relationship with Japanese. The lyrics are stunning in Japanese and I know I positively FAILED in making something remotely similar in English. There's lots of archaic language in this song that I couldn't think of how to properly convey. First and foremost, the "tou" used in the song title is different than the album title (which would be "lamplight"). Also, as the narrator is nearing the end of his journey, it's only natural that this song would be epic. This song has great atmosphere and puts me in mind of a man walking the earth after everything's gone. The only survivor at the end of the world. His world, anyway. Even though he's the one who destroyed it in the first place, it is unbearable for him.

It also appears the narrator is much older here. The song is mostly delivered in the more formal "keigo" form (ie use of "watashi" for "I", "-masu" verb endings, etc.) so it is meant to be taken more seriously in a sense. Gone is the almost seemingly childish anger from the beginning of the album. He's realized what a mess he's made of things and will do anything to repent. Lines such as "I'll crush my heart" I think are meant to be his memories from earlier in his "journey" when he thought he could overcome everything by becoming cold. He wasn't going to let anything touch him. But as "Oboreru Sakana" taught us, he lost the person he loved the most due to becoming so distant from other people. He believed that his sense of "reason" and "righteousness" made him better than everyone else, but all he accomplished was pushing everyone away. Now he is utterly alone.

If we move on to the regrets "clinging to the palm of my hand." This is referring back all that he's "slaughtered" with the evidence still on his hands. Figurative or literal is your call.

To get into the nitty gritty, there are some things that just don't translate well. The biggest being the point about "facing north." This is a reference to funeral rites where the body must be laid to rest facing north. So, obviously, this basically means that he knows he can't be saved and wants to just be left to die. The biggest problem I had with this song was actually how I came up with "the face of evil." The actual word was "giashi" which, as far as I know, is not a real word. "Gi-" in this sense roughly compares to the suffix "-ish" and "ashi" in this circumstance refers to something evil or sinister. So I kinda made up my own interpretation. Since, uh, I thought "evilish" was a stupid word xD.

And as we reach the end of the song, with Tatsurou screaming his heart out, he never quite finishes his sentence. We never reach the resolution. What we get is over three minutes of silence. If you're like me, you stuck it out and waited for some surprise bonus track. Which, of course, never comes. It loops back quite nicely to the opening instrumental track at the start of the album. So our narrator never appears to be saved. He never makes it out of the tower. Nothing is truly resolved. Considering how much this last track creates such surreal dream-like imagery, it should come as no surprise that our narrator is forever trapped in this cycle. Forever stuck making the same mistakes and seeking atonement that never comes.

The light never finds its way through the trees of decay.

(If you haven't figured it out, this is not only my favorite song on the album, it's my fave mucc song. Ever.)

Romanji:

"Kuchiki no Tou"

tsumiageta tsumiki no tou
watashi no te de BARABARA ni koroshimashita
shikai no subete wa ondo wo ushinatte
chirabatta kuchiki koso ga watashi deshou.

"kokoro wa nigiritsubushite"

riyuu wa watashi no kekkan deshita
yugami neshireta doutoku ga yue no
utau koto ga shokuzai deshou
aganai wa kuchiki to tomo ni

"kesshite kienu tsuutan, kobiritsuita tenohira"

aa owaranu kako wo hikizutte
kuchiki no ue wo giashi de aruku
mou nani hitotsu mamori kirenu nara
watashi wa ki tama ni nari mi wo karasu made

kurikaesu outo tsukiru made
kurayami wa hitsuzen
hikari nado motomeru ga oroka
karappo no hikari wo abite
saa tsumazuki kizami tsuzuke

"watashi wa, ikiteimasu ka? ki demo chigaesou de"

ano hi kara

aa owaranu kako wo hikizutte
kutsuu ni someageta kono te wo modage
mou itami nado sutesareba ii
watashi wa ki tama deari, hito de wa arazu

ikite kono te de shokuzai wo, aganai wo

Song Translation: mucc - "Monokuro no Keshiki"

2008-10-19T01:56:14Z

Only one more song to go after this. Just how long has it taken my lazy ass to get around to finish typing this??

"Monochrome Scene"

My frayed cuffs are dragging

How far am I gonna walk today?

All the dreams crammed into my pocket

Fell apart so easily

I gripped them so tightly in my small palms

The feelings I once turned to lead stones

So I could get by in this world as a shell of myself

The colorless world of status

The tranquility of night clings to the looming moon

The wind dies down

My hands outstretched towards the sky in prayer

“So I can reach you”

The monochrome-colored sketch of the future

That scene will get better in time

The lost colors and

All the colors I’m bound to lose and

The vivid colors that burn inside me

Now, I’ll set them free

My hands outstretched towards the sky in prayer

“So I can reach you”

The monochrome-colored sketch of the future

That scene will get better in time

I’ll smash the sky with the weight of my prayer

“Pin it all on tomorrow”

The monochrome scene painted over our future

Now, finish dyeing it

Translator's Notes: This struck me as having a very reflective mood to it. In keeping with my theory that it's the same narrator through the entire album, we see he's still on his evidently self-imposed journey. I also got the impression that the person he's trying to reach is actually the person who evidently died in "Kanashimi no Hate". (Hoping his prayers towards the sky reach this person, rather than any sort of god, as it were) The idea in this song being the narrator is a little wiser than at the beginning of the album. He recognizes he tried to throw away his feelings just to make things easier for himself, even though it didn't change anything. Though you can tell he hasn't quite succeeded. He still has his dislike of the way the world is. "the world of status." So if anything, his anger is still there. It's just not as raw as it once was.

But any bit of hope he might have sort of dwindles away by the end. He's basically rolling the dice and hoping things will get better tomorrow. But he knows the better future he wished for likely will never come to pass.

Nor his his journey quite finished yet, and lyrically it seems to end a bit abruptly even though musically it sounds complete...

Romanji

"Monokuro no Keshiki"

yabuketa suso wo hikizutte
kyou wa doko made aruite ikou ka?
POKETTO ni tsumekonda arittake no yume wa
itomotayasuku konagona ni natta

chiisa na tenohira ni nigitteita
kanjou wa itsuka namari no tsubute ni
nukegara no BOKU ga kurashitsuzukeru sekai
iro wo ushinatta kaikyuu no sekai

kanjaku no yoru ni haritsuku jougen no tsuki
kaze ni oware

ryoute wo hirogete sora ni inori wo
"kimi e todoku you ni"
MONOKURO no shikisai de egaku mirai
susumubeki keshiki e

naku shite shimatta iro to
kore kara saki ushinau iro to
iro azayaka ni BOKU no naka moeru iro
ima, tokihanatte

ryoute wo hirogete sora ni inori wo
"kimi e todoku you ni"
MONOKURO no shikisai de egaku mirai
susumubeki keshiki e

ryoume wo tsubushite sora ni inori wo
"asu e tsunagu you ni"
MONOKURO no keshiki nuritsubushita mirai
Ima, someagette

Song Translation: mucc - "Namonaki Yume"

2008-10-01T00:23:48Z

Ugg...Time needs to slow down. But what else is new.

"Nameless Dream"

I wonder just how far have I walked?

My path is looking for a light to carry my long shadow

I have to hurry and find a way to

Forgive myself before I’m swallowed up by the hourglass

If I grieve for my sins, I can find the strength to start walking

Close your eyes and envision a solemn tomorrow

Unravel the song beside your tiny, nameless dream

If parting ways has made me stronger

I wonder if I could find the light even wandering aimless through the dark wasteland

Listen up, love. Now I can’t see a thing

Night is approaching fast

My worn out memories will become songs

Close your eyes and envision a solemn tomorrow

Never let go of your tiny nameless dream again

Someday my empty hands will still

Carry nothing more but my precious dreams, my songs

If parting ways has made me stronger

I’ll walk through the dark wastelands towards the hint of light

I’ll start walking towards strength

Translator Notes: Not much to say here. A pretty straight forward song, for the most part. Though I guess the song mostly uses "conversational" Japanese, as if the narrator is actually speaking face-to-face with someone, as opposed to "lyrical" or "poetic" Japanese normally used for songs. Also probably the most upbeat sounding track on the whole album. (I also believe the person he's speaking to is the same person he refers to in "Oboreru Sakana"--Someone he broke up with but is apparently reflecting on those events well after the fact)

Romanji:

"Namonaki Yume"

mou dore kurai aruite kita darou?
hikari wo sagasu boku no michi wa nagai kage wo obite
iso ga nakucha kagiri aru sunadokei ni
nomikomarete shimau mae ni jibun wo yuruseru you ni

tsumi wo nageku nara aruki daseru tsuyosa wo

me wo tojite asu wo omoi egaku
chiisa na namonaki yume no hotori de uta ni toketa

ushinau koto de tsuyoku nareta nara
samayoi aruku yami no kouya ni mo hikari mitsukerareru darou

kiite koibito yo ima wa nanimo mienai ga
yagate yo wa akeru
surikireta omoi wa uta ni naru

me wo tojite asu wo omoi egaku
chiisa na namonaki yume wo nido to, nakusanu you ni

karappo no ryoute ni itsuka mata
kakaekirenu hodo no taisetsu na yume wo, uta wo
ushinau koto de tsuyoku nareta nara
samayoi aruku yami no kouya e sashita wazuka na hikari wa
aruki daseru tsuyosa e to

Don't Panic

2008-09-24T04:43:57Z

Today I made what may be either the single best or single worst decision of my entire life.

But, well, fuck it.

Here's to taking charge of my future for once.

Song Translation: mucc - "Oboreru Sakana"

2008-09-06T04:56:26Z

I have the attention span of a goldfish. Meaning I got lazy and kinda bored trying to make the journal look presentable. But I did finally getting around to getting a couple new icons...

Also, expect my updates to probably *gasp* be even less frequent now that football season is starting. God bless the Direct TV Sunday Ticket *_*

Moving onwards.

"A Drowning Fish"

I’ll probably suffocate someday

No love, no dreams, there’s nothing left since I can’t see the light

I’ll forget how to breathe when I get tired of swimming

A drowning fish

A blind mole that’s lost the light

What does a flightless bird sing about?

The sun that’s gone down will

Probably burn me again tomorrow

That day, the words that left my mouth

I don’t think any of it was a lie

Yet a second later, yet a second later

I was thinking how painful it was for us to be together

Even having the best of intentions at heart seems crazy

I don’t have any motives or reasons to deceive you

Even though I was in danger of losing you

I tried to make light of things without thinking

I’ve already grown tired of it all

You murmured a single word

Our past was tinted with lies

Scattered and turned white

How long has the fish’s eyes been cloudy?

Repelled even by the flow of this town

I try to joke about it but you probably won’t laugh

The boy from that day’s grown up

Though now I start to think

I just about died that day

My memories are a burden

Reality turned into a blade towards me

Is missing you a display of weakness?

But I’m incapable of doing anything but cling to you

Even if I want to die, I won’t end up dead

Will you laugh at how pathetic I am?

I’ll probably suffocate someday

No love, no dreams, there’s nothing left since I can’t see the light

I’ll forget how to breathe when I get tired of swimming

A drowning fish

Translator's Notes: Well, obviously sound-wise this song is very different than the rest of the album. Almost folk-y with the acoustic guitars (and if I'm allowed to be biased, this is actually one of my fave songs on Kuchiki). Also a break-up song...but after quite a bit of time has passed. This song gives a great sense of a person who's gotten older, perhaps a little more mature in some matters, but not necessarily much wiser. The narrator is trying to express how he thought his decision would have been better for both of them and that while he'd been rather casual about things at the time, he does regret his choice quite a bit. Also, if I'm going to stand by my theory that it's supposed to be the same narrator through the whole album, one might think the ex he's talking to is the person he expected would save him in "Akatsuki Yami". And/or also the person he left behind at the end of "Gentou Sanka." Though there he felt there was no one worth staying around for. That would apparently not be the case.

Though now too much time has evidently passed for him to salvage the old relationship. Though he still expects this person to be the one to fix everything for him. Unfortunately, our dear narrator is not an especially strong or brave person (at least not in his mind). When he says "Even if I want to die, I won't end up dead" he's trying to say even if he thought of killing himself, he doesn't even have the guts to actually do it. So he's stuck in this sort of limbo of being unable to change or move forward. He can't even let go of this ex. So to really put things in perspective, just think of the idea of a "drowning fish." This isn't quite intended to be an oxymoron, per say. It puts me in mind of something that is defeated or fails at being/doing exactly what it was meant to do. Fish shouldn't drown, obviously. Should be the most natural thing in the world.

Yet it's being exactly who he is that will do our narrator in.

...Yeah, I really do love this song quite a bit. ^_^

Romanji:

boku wa itsuka chissoku suru darou
ai mo yume mo nanimo kamo hikari mo mienai kara
kokyuu suru no mo wasurete oyogi tsukarete
oboreru sakana

hikari wo nakushita moumoku na mogura

tobenai tori wa nani wo utau?
toppuri shizunda taiyou wa
asu mo boku wo yaku no deshou.

ano hi, boku ga kuchi ni shita kotoba ni
nani hitotsu uso wa nakatta to omou
ichibyou demo nagaku ichibyou demo nagaku
issho ni itai to omotteitanda

itoshisa yue ni ki demo kuruisou de

riyuu ya rikutsu ja hakare yashinai

ushinau koto e no osore wa atta keredo

kangaenu you ni odokete miseteita

mou subete ni tsukareta to
kimi wa hitokoto tsubuyaite
boku-tachi no kako wa uso-iro ni kawatta

chirijiri ni natte masshiro ni kaetta

itsukara darou ka sakana no me wa shiroku nigori
kono machi no nagare ni mo hajikarete

odokete mitatte warae yashinai darou

ano hi no shounen wa otona ni natteita

ima ni natte omou no da keredo
ano hi ni boku wa nanimo kamo shinde shimatta no deshou
kioku wa boku ni oshikakari

jijitsu wa boku e no yaiba ni kawatta

natsukashimu koto wa yowai koui desu ka?

demo sugaru koto shika ima wa dekizu

shinitaku tatte shine yashinai

mijime na boku wo waratte kureru kai?

boku wa itsuka chissoku suru darou
ai mo yume mo nanimo kamo hikari mo mienai kara
kokyuu suru no mo wasurete oyogi tsukarete
oboreru sakana

Watch Your Head! (And Eyes!)

2008-09-03T02:01:07Z

In the middle of some layout changes...beware of impending ugly til I finish >_>

Song Translation: mucc - "Rojiura Boku to Kimi e"

2008-09-03T00:18:26Z

I need to not work the entire weekend after putting in a full 40+ workweek. No matter how much I like overtime pay.
(Though I do like the extra $$ to put towards my NYC trip--oh, Dir en grey! How I have missed thee!!!)

Also, I need to stop getting inexplicably nervous over things that do not matter. -_-

err, but I doubt anyone's actually here to read about my (relatively) mild greivences with life. Onward with the translations!

"The Back Alley From Me To You"

I knew right from the start it wouldn’t be long before I disappear

I’ve got a bad habit of letting my flaws block my way out and

I always faked laughing just to be social; now the sky’s empty

The boy without fingers couldn’t hold onto love or dreams

On the seventh morning, how many times did I wish to be reborn away from that back alley

Post the patchwork answers

If being poisoned gives me peace of mind

Then cast my body into the honey of temptation without a second thought

Ah, if no one’s gonna pick me, then someone like me is just a passing fancy after all

Ah, the “thank you” I spelled out was worn away by the rushing darkness

May all things be overcome with froth, may everything turn to ash

That everyone’s got the same merits, that they’re interchangeable, that’s wrong

If every drop in the bucket is gonna join together

May it all turn to ash, dress up love in ashes

Ah, I’m a maestro that stopped my heart* because I can’t pretend to be normal

From that back alley, I post a “goodbye” made of patches

Translator's Notes: The title itself is meant to sound like the is a letter sent to someone "...to...e..." is standard "to...from..." letter-writting grammar. And,umm, I got the impression this song is about an orphan? A story about a kid left in the gutter somewhere waiting to be adopted, but is always passed over. He seems to think perhaps everyone can just "tell" he's a street rat. And he can't pretend to be anything else than what he is, so he's not really very sorry about it. Even if he wishes he'd been born as anything but what he is. Also, "they're interchangeable, that's wrong" ("tagai no chigai chigai") is a play on words. "Tagai" means something "mutual" or reciprocal." "Tagai chigai" means "an alternate" and then "chigai" by itself means something "wrong" or "mistaken." Lastly, when he's the maestro that stops his "heart" Tatsurou sings "oto" (sound) but in the lyrics he wrote "shinzo" (heart--as in the organ). Methinks this is yet another suicide note like "Isho"? Except I got the impression that the narrator isn't dead, but simply took off. But it's kinda vague...

Romanji

"Rojiura Boku to Kimi e"

sugu ni naku naru sa saisho kara wakatteta
kizukanai FURI de nigemichi wo tsukuru warui kuse to
tsukuri waraide zutto shakou shiteita sora wa ima kara ni natta

yubi wo nakushita shounen wa ai mo yume mo tsukamezu ni naita
rojiura de ikudo mo umare kawari wo nozonde nanadome no asa ni

tsugihagi darake no kotae wo kakage
doku sareru koto de yasurageru no nara
mayowazu yuuwaku no mitsu ni mi wo nageyou

aa erabarenu nara shosen watashi nado yukizuri no omocha
aa tarenagasu yami ni tsuzuru koto kireta "arigatou"

awa ni nari sakimidare ikitoshi ikeru ima subete hai ni nare
yuuretsu sou tagai no chigai chigai....
taikai ni itteki wo tarasu ga gotoku ni majiwaru nara
subete hai ni nare ai yo hai ni kise

aa teishi shita oto ni aseri heijou wo tamotezu kuruidashita MAESUTORO
ano rojiura de boku ga kakageta tsugihagi darake no "sayounara"

Go For the Gold at the Beijing Olympics!!!

2008-08-26T00:35:34Z

Yes, the Olympics have come and gone. Ignoring all the political overtones, it really was quite spectacular.

But the one thing that saddens me is how Light's Swimming Lessons no longer serve much purpose...

...Actually, I lied. This will never get boring XD

Song Translation: mucc - "Kanashimi no Hate"

2008-08-25T01:03:40Z

Yeah...I suck at that whole updating thing. orz...

"The End of Sorrow"

We wept in sorrow, ‘cause you’re never coming back

Stillness, tattered dreams and faded warmth

I want to sing with my lost voice, though no matter how much I scream, it won’t reach you

A withered flower has nothing to bloom for

Ain’t it sad, ain’t it painful

I’ll throw it all away, yeah all of it

If I’m gonna lose it all, there’s no point in clinging to this warmth

Do whatever it takes to hollow out this unfading scar

At the end of sorrow…

How will I adjust? What if the insects crowd around inside me

Mostrocities that corrupted this town of horrors so long ago

There’s no safe place left

He died with a smile on his face

Ah, we know the end of sorrow will be in our desperate struggle for breath

Ah, someday, someday the day will come when our hearts can laugh

Since you’re never coming back, if you’re never coming back

Our tears lost their purpose.

Our sorrow will disappear

Someday.

Translator Notes: Well, I guess the first thing to clear up is the difference between "hate" and "owari", both of which mean "end". Think of "owari" as generally meaning something stops or ceases to be, while "hate" means like a limit or barrier. Something that has nothing beyond a certain point. (ie "end of the world" vs "ends of the earth"---follow?)

Err..this song takes place at a funeral, I think. Especially considering the line "he died with a smile on his face." As this album is a concept album of sorts, I can't make up my mind if the person who died is the "narrator" from the previous songs or if he's still telling this story about someone he knew who died...

Romanji:

"Kanashimi no Hate"

mou nido to modorenai kara bokura wa kanashikute naita
seijaku, hikisakareta yume to kietetta nukumori yo

koe wo nakushita utautai ikura sakendemo todokanai
kare ochite shimatta hana wa mou saku koto wa nai

kanashii darou kurushii darou
nanimo kamo sutesatte saa nanimo kamo

aa subete ushinatte shimaeba nukumori ni sugaru koto mo nai
doushitemo kienai kizu wa eguri totte shimaeba ii

Kono kanashimi no hate ni

douchousei? tatoeba, kimi no naka takaru mushi-tachi

hora machi wa touni shinshoku sare tsukushi henkei

ibasho nante doko ni mo nai

kare hateta kao de warau

aa bokura kanashimi no hate de hisshi ni mogaki iki wo shiteiru
aa itsuka itsuka kokoro kara waraeru hi ga kuru
mou nido to modorenai kara mou nido to modorenai nara
namida wa imi wo ushinatta

kanashimi wa kieru

itsuka

They animated WHAT???

2008-07-27T22:19:55Z

Maybe I've been living under a rock, but how did I not know that they made an anime of "Blade of the Immortal"??

This is my all-time favorite manga ever! I'm not sure how good of a series it will be since 90% of the content really isn't...appropriate for TV. But just the idea of seeing the characters moving and hearing them speak is thrilling XD

Song Translation: mucc - "Garo"

2008-07-24T01:38:21Z

Yay! I got around to actually posting another song. I was wicked liberal with my word choice and kinda agonized more than was necessary before I decided to post this...

"Garo"

If I happen to find myself tamed

Gimme a leash, clip my fangs

Ain’t this what you wished for me?

Make sure I’m tied down

If you wanna keep me chained, you got three chances to make me howl

Farewell to control, the countless times I held my tongue

Fallen out of favor, turning red, life rushes by in a breath

If I gotta keep bending to your rules I’ll wind up dead

Can you walk in my shoes and see a lot to be happy about?

Farewell to disgrace, to the days of my heart being led astray

As if I wanna live, as if I can go on living

Farewell to control, the countless times I held my tongue

Fallen out of favor, turning red, I’ll go and never look back

Translator Notes: Okay. The title "Garo"...I honestly have no idea what it means. It's not a Japanese word (that I know of) and it's written in katakana so I assume maybe it's supposed to be an English word? "Gallow" maybe?? Or, since this song's got a lot of chained dog imagery, maybe it's supposed to be the sound of a dog growling? But, you know, that cute way Japanese write out animal noises? I. Don't. Know.

Next, I kinda through my own interpretations into everything. For example, the "held my tongue"...Tatsurou says "kamichigitte" which comes from "kamu" which can mean to bite or chew. Or can mean to stutter or falter over one's words. "Chigitte" from "chigiru" can mean either to cut into pieces or to pledge something. So since both words can mean tearing something apart plus reference speech in some way (though one is strong and one one is weak) I got the impression of someone having something they really want to say, but can bring themself to actually do that. I'm not 100% sure what the idiom equivalent for "hold your tongue" is in Japanese so I thought this kinda gave the same feeling.

"Kobizu" a negative form of "kobiru", which means to either flatter or try to curry favor with someone. I rather like such a short phrase to be able to say "fall out of favor." XD

Also, if you haven't noticed, whatever bit of hope there was in "Akatsuki Yami" didn't seem to carry here. He's back to hating everybody with plans to leave again. I also like that he switches betwwen really slangy (nozonjainee daro) to keigo politeness (nani wo miemasu ka). The fake politeness makes for some pretty heavyhanded sarcasm.

Romanji

"Garo"

futo ki ga tsukeba kainarasareteta
tsunagare, kiba wa orare, ataerarete

konna no ore wa nozon'jai nee daro?
nanisama ga kono mi shibaru?

Ore wo tsunaideitai nara sankai mawatte naite miro yo

saraba shihai yo kazu aru fujiyuu kamichigitte
kobizu, akaku, iki isogu inochi

kyosei wo hari tsuzukenakerya shinde shimau yo
juntaku to shiawase hakichigae nani ga miemasu ka?

saraba kutsujoku yo kokoro wo azamuita hibi yo
ikitai you ni ikite ikeru you ni

saraba shihai yo kazu aru fujiyuu kamichigitte
kobizu, akaku, furikaerazu iku

Life: Reset

2008-07-21T10:46:24Z

So. Through a series of events that I don't quite understand, I got my old job back at GM. For more $$ at that. I don't know what exactly I'll be doing per say, only because the branch is still supposed to close in a couple of months?? Very puzzled, but sorely in need of a paycheck so I'm not gonna question this too deeply.

But, man, did 3 months seriously go by? What an agonizing waste of time...

(Oh, I plan on catching up with those mucc translations some time this week. In case anyone cares.)

WHY

2008-06-18T02:36:52Z

I didn't think it was possible to get a stress fracture in my foot by WALKING.

Song Translation: mucc - "Akatsuki Yami"

2008-06-08T01:51:19Z

Hmm...I actually thought I posted this the other day. Evidently not.

”Moonless Dawn"

I wanted to die and close my eyes

Return myself to nothing

I wanted to erase my memories and sleep without thought

Cloudy skies and flickering rain

Like yesterday’s weather was a lie

The rain tried to beat it into me:

“Stop reflecting life’s misery”

The wind, if it blows for a moment

How will it change the view as I fall?

Even as I’m confined to this shell, I sink to the depths of the distant seas alone

There’s no point in pleading with my sorrow

I’ll be saved by your smiling face

Even though my heart is locked away in a cocoon, I venture deep into the darkened misty forest

The threads of grief an unraveling tangle

I attempt to withstand the moonless dawn and care for the warmth left in my hands

Someday I’ll float a sasabune** down a little stream

Can I ever return to that place?

I murmured to the rain

“Things will be better tomorrow”

Translator Notes: First, the word "Akatsuki" is kinda funny. It means "Dawn" but it's not the normal word for it (yoake). It's an antiquated word that, according to the archaic way the Japanese told time, was the hour of completion or accomplishment. "Yami" by itself just means "Dark" but in this context it always implies the time before sunrise when/if there is no moon present...(Yes, there is an actual phrase for that in Japanese)

Next, one kinda gets the impression this is still the same narrator from "Gentou Sanka," who at the end of that song decided to leave with the intention of returning as a stronger person. So this song seems to be after some time has passed, and while things still are pretty bad for him, it looks like he's actually making an effort to change things and become that "stronger person". Also, at the end of "Gentou Sanka" he states no one would care if he was gone. But here he mentions one person in particular can save him...

Okay, now to explain the word that I couldn't really translate. "Sasabune" is a toy boat made out of bamboo leaves. So why is that important? "Sasabune" are often used during "Obon" in Japan, which is a festival to honor the dead. These little boats and/or candles are often set adrift on water in memory of those who have passed on. However, depending on the area of Japan, a lot of the same traditions are used during "Tachibana." That would be the "Star Festival" and people take the time to write their wishes on that day. As stated, some areas of Japan use the same traditions as "Obon" so they use sasabune to carry their wishes.

(Please be aware this is my take on things. I'm not from Japan so perhaps my understanding of this could be entirely wrong!)

So it's up to interpretation as to what circumstance the narrator would be using a sasabune for...To be honest, I can't decide what meaning I prefer. I rather like the multiple implications XD

The last line "ashita, tenki ni nare" literally means "the weather will be better tomorrow." Yay for idioms...Either way, this song definitely is a lot more hopeful than all the previous songs.

Romanji:

"Akatsuki Yami"

shinitakute me wo tojita
boku no subete mu ni kaeshi
kioku kara kietai to nemurezu kangaeteita

kumorizora ame chiratsuite
kinou no tenki, uso no you.
"ikiru kutsuu mo niteru na" to, ame ni utarete mita

kaze, hitotabi fukeba
utsurou keshiki dou korobu?

fukaku zekkai no soko e to shizumi hitori kara ni komoredo
urei wa muda to satosu sono egao ni sukuwareru

fukaku oboromori yami e to susumi kokoro mayu ni tozasedo
nageki no ito mure wo hodoki

akatsuki no yami tatazumite kono te ni nokorishi nukumori ni tou
itsuka seseragi ni sasabune ukabe
ano basho e kaeremasu ka?

ame ni, tsubuyaita
"ashita, tenki ni nare"

Some Things

2008-06-02T21:11:48Z

Well, I'm settling for the current layout. Mostly because LJ refuses to accept my custom CSS. I made a banner and it kept putting ads in the middle of it. I don't care enough to figure out how to fix it. I may get around to fixing up my profile a bit, should I feel so inclined later. Don't know what it is, but I feel oddly fatigued all the time lately. I've been getting about 6 hours of solid sleep every night, which is really good for me. But I'm sitting here now after drinking an entire pot of black coffee and I'm still drowsy. I can't tell if maybe I'm getting sick? Or if I'm completely immune to caffine. >_>

Also (seeing as the job hunt is filling me with woe), I still have too much time on my hands. I've filled some of it with a couple new series that I'm completely fangirling about. Except I don't actually talk with anyone about them so I guess there isn't much actual fangirling...

So just in case anyone cares, Kateikyoushi Hitman Reborn! is full of awesome and win. It's a mafia story. But a SHOUNEN mafia story. With the opening arc being a 60+ chapter "daily life" goofy comedy story. Until it remembers it runs in Jump and it got filled with violence and angst. And, err, I'm not one that really goes looking for it but...this story's got some very strong yaoi-ish undertones? The manga-ka refuses to admit what gender he/she is. But judging from the art style and the way the characters come across, it feels like a woman's work. (If that makes any sense) But this being a manga from Japan, and its target audience is teenage boys, it's kinda not looked on especially favorably for it to be written by a woman. Oh, Japan. Your gender perceptions are crap.

The other series is Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion.

Holy shit, how did I miss this show?! Between the episodes, the film shorts released with the DVDs, and the e-magazine for the series, this is the basic premise. The Empire of Britannia dominates the world. That's right. Britannia. In this story, they never lose to the Romans. (Rome loses to Gaul, too...) So England is still Britannia throughout history. It's not until Napoleon (who never loses at Waterloo) drives Elizabeth the III (you read that right) out of England that the Americas are discovered. At this time George Washington leads a rebellion against the crown and loses at Yorktown! The Britannian Empire ends up conquering the entire Western Hemisphere!!

Then the real plot starts in 2017. Lelouch (an heir to the throne presumed dead) and his sister had been hiding in Japan under the protection of the Prime Minister. Only the poor PM has been dead for 7 years and Japan is no longer Japan. It's renamed "Area 11" a territory under Britannian rule. The Japanese are called "11s" and are considered an "inferior race." And basically Lelouch accidentally crosses paths with Japanese terrorists trying to bring down the Empire. They stole "poison gas"...which of course turns out to be a mysterious girl hidden in a capsule. She gives Lelouch a power to bring about a revolution. All he has to do is look someone in the eye and they'll do whatever he says...So when he gets surrounded by Britannian troops, he tells them all to die. So they all blow their brains out 0_o

Next thing you know, Lelouch establishes himself as the terrorist "Zero" and hides his true identity behind a mask. He's determined to being down the Empire and make a peaceful world for his little sister (who's blind and crippled! ;_;)

Oh yeah, there's some mechas, too. With lots of King Arthur refernences. The top pilots for the Empire are the Knights of the Round. And the mechs have names like Lancelot, etc...And Lelouch is a high school student when he's not amassing an army. But even the silly high school kids end up with angst!

The show is just ridiculous with all the politics and plot twists. And Lelouch is ruthless. Reminds me quite a bit of Light from Death Note. Oh, it's also a nice touch that his greatest enemy is also the son of the Prime Minister that was hiding him, not to mention his best friend. Definitely one of the best shows I've ever seen. Ever. So glad I got into it while the second season just started. ^_^

Under Construction

2008-05-27T02:13:11Z

Trying out a new color scheme. Not sure if I like it. Probably should make a banner header for it, but I'm feeling pretty indecisive about what to put.

At least I finished my new mood theme. All Sasuke, all the time (aka Emosuke) :p

Not feeling too great at the moment, though, so I don't think I'll be finishing this up tonight. We'll see, I guess.

Song Translation: mucc - "Gentou Sanka"

2008-05-23T04:05:16Z

Before I get to the translation, I just want to say that "Ironman" was full of awesome. Though I'm severely distraught by the fact that I can't tell if I was more excited over the hotness of Gweneth Paltrow as a redhead or if my Inner Geek was really wishing I had such an awesome computer system... </nerd>

Also, I have the strangest bit of discomfort. Right below my ribs at I guess the top of my stomach. No sharp pain or anything like that. But it's like there's a pressure, though I really haven't eaten very much nor do I feel so inclined to eat anything. It doesn't feel like indigestion, either. Just an odd pressure, though I don't feel bloated. Disconcerting, is what it is. Not sure how to explain it. Or how to deal with it. Water doesn't seem to be doing the trick, nor crackers. Or Pepcid. Grr...

So yeah, here's the song:

"The Lantern Hymn"

It’s pointless to glorify a dream like individuality

I’m at loss as to why things like the times should even mean anything

Seek out dreams of being unique and you’ll be rewarded with splendid conformity

You’ve forgotten your dream of being yourself and you’ll never see that warm lantern again

Nobody hesitates to spit out words like “Someday”

You fucking hypocrites acting like you’re so happy, you need a reality check

People closed their eyes and thought someday they won’t even be capable of sorrow

If I made a complete fool of myself

Then just let me break down and cry

I’ll just stand in the road to let the world know why

Living right now is tearing me apart

I wonder if I wore myself out

I don’t care about sticking around for anyone

I want to figure out why I’m so powerless

I’ll gnaw away this weakness and take a stand against those red eyes again someday

Translator Notes: First and foremost, the title "Gentou Sanka" is odd. "Gentou" is a pretty uncommon word nowadays. (I actually had to look it up!) It can be used to mean a "slide projector" like the really old school ones you'd put glass slides of vacation pictures in sorta thing. However, it also means "magic lamp/lantern". As in "Genie-in-a-Bottle" kind of lantern. So when the narrator says if you forget your dreams, you'll never see the lantern...He actually means your "dreams/wishes" will never come true. "Sanka" can mean "hymn/eulogy/song of praise/etc" I chose "hymn" just because it flowed a little better in my mind for a title.

Otherwise, I'd say this song pretty much picks up where "Dakkuu" left off. Still angry, most of it directed at the masses. I get the impression that this is actually supposed to be the same "narrator" as "Dakkuu." If you remember in "Dakkuu" the narrator is stuck in the center of a mob scene, then at the end of the song talks about screaming until everyone actually listened. Seems to me this would be the message he's trying to tell them. But he's defeated at the end of this song, goes off to lick his wounds in private, but vows to come back with a vengeance...

Hmm, concept album much?

(These are my own interpretations. Feel free to walk away with your own ideas about it)

Romanji

"Gentou Sanka"

yume wo kou jinkaku yo kudaranai gensou wo tataeyou
tohou ni kureru jikan nado imi mo igi sae mo aru hazu mo naku
yume wo motomeru jinkaku ni subarashii genkaku wo ataeyou
katakuzure no shuuchaku wa mohaya kako no ibutsu ni nari hateta
yume wo wasureta jinkaku ni atataka na gentou wa mou miezu
daremo karemo ga tamerai mo naku "itsuka" nante kotoba hakidashita
maemuki na furi wo shita gizensha-domo ga genjitsu ni afuredashi
hito wa itsuka kanashimu koto sae dekinaku natte me wo tojita

yogore kitte shimatta no nara
sono mama naki kuzurereba ii
rojou ni sarasarete tachidomaru riyuu wo shiri
ima ikiteiru koto wo karada ni kizame

tsukare kitte shimatta no darou
dareka ni sugari tsuitatte kamawanai
jibun no muryokusa wo shiri tohou ni kurete
sono yowasa kamishimete itsuka mata tachi agare akai me de

Also, I'm hoping to get the new layout up by some point over the long weekend. You know, when I'm not worrying about finding a new job (still unemployed!), studying (class is going well!), or doing house things (gotta clean the garage tomorrow and prep it for floor painting/sealing!)

I won't give away too much about it, aside that I'm coding it myself. And it's getting a new name. Sorry "Wake". You're a great song, but a little change'll do us all good. Especially since I don't think a song about a guy jumping off a roof two days after his girlfriend breaks up with him really matches my personality. At all.

Guess it fits in on LJ though ;P

"Mata na" (Saiyuki Gaiden deserves its own post)

2008-05-18T04:36:45Z

You know, it really shouldn't hurt so much. I've known from day one that everyone was going to die. That's practically the point of Gaiden. Besides, he comes back as Gojyo. But I'm so, so, so upset over Kenren.

I don't even cry over my own life, but here I am, crying over a manga character.

General, it's been an honor.

誇りを抱いて
散るその日まで

"I'll cling to my pride 'til the day I die."

;_;

Song Translation: mucc - "Dakkuu"

2008-05-18T04:20:04Z

The next track off "Kuchiki no Tou" is 2:26 minutes of ANGRY. Luckily Tatsurou is really good at growling out a lot of words at mind-numbing speeds.

"Muddy Sky"

Those ruled by absolute reason are being erased

No one is granted equality

How can we tear down these outdated rules when you lent us dirt?

I don’t see any politician that truly embodies reform

They’re a meaningless family caught up with keeping appearances

They’re all garbage—worthless dirt

I’m scared stiff in the middle of a mob of people

The sky is low, low, low again today

If you gather around to watch, they’ve got a corpse on parade

Where do you think all of you are gonna end up?

Ah we’re better off not seeing our reason stolen by this reality

We’d only get dragged down by that mob

We longed for these mornings under this filthy sky

Even if our throats get shredded, we’ll keep on screaming

‘Til we make this rotten town understand

Translator Notes: So, the album switches from a teenager hating himself and everyone else to...hating the man. (Well, he still hates everyone else...at least those who conform) The narrator's really hating on the government in this song. Nobody makes decisions based on actual logic. They're all concerned with just making their pretty speeches but not actually trying to improve anything. The "dirt" he says was lent is actually referring to the crappy politicians that he continues to call dirt, just with different words.

The word he uses for "mob" is actually "hitogomi" which literally means "a crowd of people." Japanese has a few different ways to say "crowd" but I think this one was chosen because "hito" means people and "gomi" means garbage. While not necessarily how this word is normally thought of, I think he was trying to emphasize that he does not think very highly of the masses. When he asks where they "hitogomi" think they'll end up (as they parade around a corpse--possibly the narrator's?), he's kind of implying that they'll probably go to hell when they die. Or at least that's the impression I got from it.

Also the title itself "Dakkuu" the first symbol 濁 (read alone as "Daku") can also be read as corrupt.

Romanji:

"Dakkuu"

junzentaru risei shugi wa keshite subete ni byoudou wo haku senai

hikarabita kiyaku nado dou ni yaburi suterare chiri to kashita

kaikaku wo utau seijika wa honshitsu ga miezu

katachi bakari ni torawareru muimi na enja

GOMI douzen no kachi naki obutsu

HITOGOMI no naka kowakute tachidomatta kyou mo sora wa hikui, hikui, hikui

mawari wo miwataseba shinin no koushin-tai anata-tachi no ikisaki wa doko desu ka

aa risei wo ubau kono genjitsu ga mienakereba yokatta

koto bakari oshitsukete bokura HITOGOMI ni oboreta

bokura kono nigotta sora no shita asu wo machikogare

nodo ga chigiresou ni nattemo sakebi tsuzukeru

wakatte moraeru made kusatta kono machi de

Song Translation: mucc - "Mikan no Kaiga"

2008-05-16T02:48:53Z

Here's the next track from mucc's "Kuchiki no Tou". Not much to say, really. The lyrics sound pretty cool in Japanese, and I'm pretty sure my translation is accurate...but I'll be damned if this doesn't sound completely stupid in English. I apologize in advance for the lame ;_;

"Unfinished Painting"

All of my feelings are gone – Who is this void?

No matter how many times I try to gather up

The torn wings at my feet, they turn to sand and disappear

The only light binding me here faded with my feathers

Now that my body’s rejected me I’m gonna try to flee here

Ah, my dreams and the promises I made

Will they ever be able to fly again?

There’s nothing else I can do but scream

What is my heart supposed to do to express this?

My wings grew twisted and warped with loneliness

Even if I cry blood

The faded scene will not change

I’ve gathered the unfinished paintings I’ve composed

Into a pile torn and shredded

Ah, my dreams and the promises I made

They’ll probably never fly again

There’s nothing else I can do but scream

What is my heart supposed to do to express this?

I can never forget

My broken faded wings and my memories and

The promises I could never keep

Alone I try to add the colors to my unfinished painting

Gathering their scattered fragments

An unfulfilled dream will always remain dark

Translation Notes: Hmm...no birds were harmed in the translation of this song? Lots of bird imagery that I didn't bother writing word for word. For example, "habataku koto" literally means "flapping (as in wings)" but I found lines like "Will they ever be able to flap their wings again?" to sound kinda cumbersome. Also I translated "egaki" as "express" rather than "draw" or "sketch" since I think the line had a feeling of "how am I supposed to show this?" And art=expression, yes?

Romanji:
"Mikan no Kaiga"

arayuru kanjou ga kieta/ kono munashisa wa dare?
hikisakareta ashimoto no TSUBASA
nando hirottemo suna ni nari kieta
ishiki wo tsunagu yuitsu no hikari hane tomo ni kiekake
karada wa ima ni kyozetsu wo shimeshi koko kara nigeyou to shita

aa yume yo tomo ni chigitta yakusoku yo
mou nido to habataku koto wa dekinai no desu ka

nakisakebu koto shika dekinaku natte
boku wa kokoro ni nani wo egaki ikireba ii?
TSUBASA orenejimagari kodoku ni katachi wo kaeta
chi no namida nagashitemo
keshite keshiki kawaru koto wa naku

tomo ni egaiteita mikansei no kaiga
juuji ni hikisakare BARABARA ni natta

aa yume yo tomo ni chigitta yakusoku yo
mou nido to habataku koto wa dekinai no deshou

nakisakebu koto shika dekinaku natte
boku wa kokoro ni nani wo egaki ikireba ii?
kowarete kieta TSUBASA to omoide to
hatasu koto no dekinakatta eien no yakusoku wo
wasurerarenai boku wa hitori
mikan no kaiga ni iro wo tsukeyou to
chigireta hahen hiroi atsumete
kanawanai yume wo kurai tsuzukeru dake

**sigh** I don't really care for this translation. Mostly because it sounds so boring in English >_>